18th March 2006
Not sure how I feel about having a birthday here, not much to
celebrate yet I think. Survival is nothing to celebrate you just get on
with it. Getting too old to have to deal with that sort of crap any
way. My future is as uncertain as it gets, the only thing that will
remain for certain is that I won't be satisfied unless I make my living
from making music. That's what brought me here in the first place, just
my music doesn't fit here…
Because I'm a survivor I've turned around what was heading straight
over the nearest cliff.
I've paid for it with selling half my studio worth a few grand, leaving
a job behind that could've funded anything I needed to pursue what I
was engineered to do, costing my family money they couldn't afford,
leaving a place to live, risking health, my equipment ( without it I'm
The cost has been higher than most realise, I'm still not back to a
point (a long , long way off) where I have the same spare cash free as
I actually need to be higher than that, film may be the saviour of
that, but it feels like I could have been doing this 9-10 months ago.
It's too much to go through just to have to start from the beginning
It's like a shark has taken a big chunk out of me , but I've recovered,
meaner than ever…..
I do things with my time ( I haven't slept today) that others don't,
but that doesn't mean I'll give a list of what I'm doing, I don't have
No one else does. Watch this space though, film is where it is going to
happen. Dj work is not something I will be stupid enough to get sucked
into as I know what I'm supposed to do. I'll use it to back what I
really need to work on my OWN music, as thats always a higher level
than DJing can ever be, I don't care what anyone says. It separates the
men from the boys and the egos from the people that only live to make
Many people would go with that and start to believe they're somebody
when they're nothing. There are no plans for me to get a big head, I
only get bookings because I'm western & can put some quality tunes
together without screwing it up. I don't rate that as something to be
proud of too much.
Faced to much of the “right Face” “Right people” bull in England. It's
worse here. Time to go more stuff do and you will start to see the
results in the near future. Check the Archive as always
The Ghost Walks With You….
18th March 2006