All or Nothing…Music or Life without Meaning

There are so many times I feel like I’m working for nothing.
I am always a whisker away from leaving China behind and finding a basic job back in the U.K.
I have to look at things in a practical way. Music is my absolute top priority, if I don’t do that I’m not interested in life or anything else.
So it’s not a choice, if you’re built this way you’d better realise you can’t run away from it.

So I do what I can with the resources I have, I’m used to that.
But when you can’t even send out a CD or purchase a list of contacts, it starts to feel like what’s the point of here?
I’m absolutely ruthless like that, if things don’t move soon I must ( and will) change them.
If you’re serious about music you can never rest, get comfortable, it is this way for you till the day you DIE.

So I’m always looking for new ways to open doors, always looking at what I’m doing, if it’s working, am I making progress.
My feet are on the ground , so headway must be realistic towards a realistic goal.
I’d like to do film to start to generate a reasonable income, and help push back into releasing on record labels as well as my own label again.

I may not be geared for the dancefloor market, but the listening market could always be good for me.
Things aren’t the way they used to be, people rarely get to listen to demos anymore, and if you’re not known getting known is the kind of bulls*it attitude I have to face even in China. But funds are required to push open doors, and if things don’t change very soon, I have to look at returning home.
At least there a basic job can provide enough to help feed the music…

But here I seem to work for nothing, sending a CD out is a rare thing, pushing for anything else here is non existent.
Funds dictate, but the promise of big cash seems stale, plus I have to count time lost that could have been back in a dull job in the Uk.
But still I would have been able to push more, so I’m behind, and that’s not good since time for me is precious.

When my music is being held back then any day job is in dangerous territory, it will have to change and FAST.
I will give it a few more months, as there is potential, but the return must be great, since The Ghost has a plan and it requires feeding…

Stay strong and don’t ever give up on what you want to do, quitting is what other people do.. So screw them.
Money doesn’t buy you happiness , it’s your landmark achievements that are priceless and timeless.
What do you want as your legacy? On your gravestone? He made lots of money and was empty? Or he was an artist admired the world over…

You already know which you would choose… Maybe you have already chosen, there is no help from me for those that take the wrong path, you are on your own, just like the rest of us. I just wish people were less divided in music, just so insecure and “I don’t know you so I don’t deal with you” kind of attitude.

More next time, tired and brooding over my next change in step…

The Ghost Walks with You…