When I get home, or when I make Electronic or film music, the chains are off.
But when I’m elsewhere or doing the day job, the chains are on, the straight jacket is tight.
It really is a case of twisting and breaking myself into a shape that I’m not designed to be.
But it’s been this way all my life, and it’s taught me not to lose my temper ( this IS losing the fight) and to mask the real me.
Which most people never get to see anyway.
The “grey man” is what the SAS call it, neither passive , nor aggressive. It works very well when you’re being put under pressure ( or interrogation) or dealing with daily B*llsh*t.
It also frustrates people endlessly because they can’t see a way in, and always hit a brick wall of nothing. Good. If I’m adopting that it’s for good reason.
It keeps The Ghost from annihilating people, and saves the energy (like anger= fuel) for the creative darkness that always welcomes me…
They don’t put the lions in with the tigers at the zoo, that’s just the way it is…
Till next time
The Ghost That Walks