A Triple Edged Sword

Today has been a day a double or even triple edged day.

First: I’m being accused of being “shitty” about a deal, fair enough,
I’m a guilty guy , so shoot me.
can’t help being able to see through things to the other side, if that
offends people sorry, but it’s saved my arse on many, many occasions.
I’ve ignored it I have paid for it big time. As nice as people can be
or appear to be, that doesn’t mean they really know what they’re doing
or how it affects you.
You think record labels do care? They don’t,
wake up. You use them, they use you, so make sure you’re getting
something out if it. I’d love to collaborate with people, I really
honestly would,but sadly after having been to Detroit and seen how they
do business, I haven’t met , talked to anyone who matches up. Music is
serious business for them, it’s life and food on the table for them.
Not just something that disappears after a while or something better
comes along.
So if I can help people by saying, “please don’t do that”, I will.

You know when Drexciya signed for Warp, was it just about a big move or
an advance, no!!
not even going to tell anyone about it unless I meet you in person, I
heard this from Mad Mike himself so I’m not spreading it all around.

you think when I said no to a deal in Detroit that was a pleasant
experience? Can you even imagine? I risked getting my head kicked in to
go and explain about it to them (that’s Mad Mike at Submerge), and you
know what ? I earned their respect for it, as they realized I love
music and it’s my blood, they even tried to help me sort it out, but
politics got in the way.

Second: Today is another edge of a
sharp sword, since despite all my efforts things just keep falling
apart with my best friend. If there was more I could have done I would
have done it, and I feel responsible a great deal too. Never wanted it
to end up like this, but the Giant has blocked both of our paths so
many times, it’s like it was inevitable. More than that I can’t say
anymore, it’s just to personal. My music is and has been always
there,and it sometimes feels like I have to sacrifice the rest of life
for it. If so then, ok lets go. I don’t argue anymore…

Third: Finally getting back to the kind of sounds I really want to
make, which is always a struggle.
is that the old beast that’s been stuck in the garage for 18 months, is
the one to bring out the sounds from the Underworld. Yet it’s not new,
or expensive ,is old news, but it has developed something special with
age that I didn’t expect.
I’m not even going to tell people what I’m
using anymore, as people are starting ( or where they always?) to get
prejudiced about what you use. It’s the end result that counts, what it
feels like.

Three cuts, and although they may hit deep, some may draw blood or
wound, I’m still here.
I’m not in bits, not scared, because I know what I do in life is live
it the right way.
if you all want to have a go at me some more, I’ll just keep moving on,
because the path is the right one. I’m supposed to be here to follow
it, that’s my fate, I can’t escape that anymore.